Happy Birthday to Me

My face is on fire as I write this.  Can't go outside for three days because I've had Photodynamic Therapy for pre-cancerous cells on my face.  It all started months ago when a little crust formed on the left side of my nose where glasses sit.  This little, innocuous crust would form, I would scratch/rip it off and it would come back.  Time to talk to my doctor, I thought.  That was May.  In June, I saw the dermatologist and now, three appointments later, I've had a biopsy of the little white crust, liquid nitrogen shots to a few spots on my face and neck and two PDT treatments.  The biopsy showed a low-grade squamous cell carcinoma. Low grade means that we caught it on time. The PDT treatment was for the other little evidences of pre-cancerous cells on my forehead and nose. In late July, I will have surgery to dig down where I had the biopsy.

Just before finding out about the rogue cells on my face, I also found out I have cataracts.

Grateful to be alive and for all the services afforded me.

Happy 65th birthday to me!

Becoming Comfortably Afraid

As you may or may not have heard, the Alberta election results have us living with a United Conservative Party (far right) government for another four years.  It is devastating for those of us who believe that governments are elected to take care of its people first.  Education, Health, Climate Change and Nature are not amongst this government's top priorities.

In fact, the goings-on around here indicate that we are sliding back as a civilisation. During the month leading up to the election, V. and I attended a political forum in our town where the NDP candidate was laughed, gestured and jeered at, heckled, and name-called. A UCP MP running for re-election called the female NDP candidate: "a f-ing c-word" to be exact.  None of this motivated the chairperson to call a halt to the abuse but when one man asked the loud participants to pipe down, the chairperson told him to be quiet and that if he kept intruding, he would be asked to leave. Clearly, even he was intimidated by the block of unruly UCP followers.

The UCP's platform was based on a series of not quite true facts which did not seem to bother any of their followers.  Who cares about the truth when you want to WIN, right?

The world feels upside down. Truth, integrity and civility are no longer held up as values. It seems the points go to the raucous, the rude and the lying.  When this cartoon came up on Facebook I had to save it as it explains in few words how I feel the direction my province and other parts of the world are taking.

To say that the forum and the election results have shaken me to the core is an understatement.  In fact, it has taken me a few days to be able to give form to my thoughts and to dare to put out this post about how I feel. 

As is always the case when I am thrown off balance, I look to books for comfort and advice. Michelle Obama provides a good dose of both in her most recent book.

One of the tools Obama suggests is that we learn to become "comfortably afraid" with how things are so as to not become paralyzed with fear and lose our agency.  Agency is our most precious defense against what is most ugly in the world. The thing to avoid is withdrawal because that is when the ugly wins.

And here is another tool to add to your tool box. My friend Danielle gave me a list of things to say when you hear ugly words.  These formulas might give the person speaking pause...

• That's not ok with me
• I find that offensive
• Hold on... I need to process what you are saying
• I'm not comfortable with that
• I'm sorry, what?
• Help me to understand what you're saying...
• What you just said is harmful
• That's not funny

Meanwhile...

Bye Gord...

Last night, we lost one of our most beloved musicians.  Gordon Lightfoot was a poet, a musician, a composer. Born in Ontario Canada, he met his life's challenges with equanimity and grace.  He almost died a couple of times, was married three times and had countless ups and downs in between.

I grieve him today.  He has given me so much. The consolation is the gift of his numerous recordings of over 200 original songs.  The Last Time I saw her Face above, is one of my favorites.  It really showcases his talent for poetic language, his moving melodies and the wonderful vibrato in his voice.

Thanks for everything Gord, may you rest in peace.

Love,

Stella

What is Christmas, Really?

I've been working hard at not expecting Christmas to be like the ones of my youth: masses of people, mass, tons of gifts, a lot of noise, card-playing, tons of food and drink and a lot of people crammed into the same house, living together for a few days. 

 Nowadays, Christmases are minimalist: lights, a tree, some music and scents from SAJE, a couple tourtière, a cozy dinner for four around a fondue pot. Supper at a restaurant on Christmas day... V and I are not buying each other gifts as the renovations to the kitchen and now for the downstairs bathroom are taking up the cash flow. The kids prefer money to buy what they want and who can blame them? Now, if we need something, generally we buy it and so some of Christmas has lost its magic for this girl. 

 Did I tell you that T & A are expecting a baby around Valentine's Day? Now THAT is a gift! I am cautiously imagining Christmas with a little one and I say cautiously because our son and his spouse live far away and don't typically visit at Christmas time. 

 I've been listening to my favorite Winter Solstice Albums by Wyndham Hill. They are soft and easy listening.

I pair the music with diffused oil blends by SAJE and let my soul swell with the memories of Christmases past and imagining future Christmases with grandchildren, a noisy, packed house, a lot of noise, tons of food, good games of Catan, tons of gifts...

I have reread this and notice that I appear to feel sorry for myself.  Nope, I'm just a girl having feelings around Christmas given how the world and therefore Christmas have evolved.  I have much to be grateful for: a husband that I love who loves me back, two great boys and their partners, a lot of good friends, health, enough money to live comfortably and a good imagination.

A Little Crochet

My sister is a crocheter, not me. My Mom and my other sister crocheted too but me, I'm not as drawn to this craft. Are you? The good news is, I have finally found a knitting/crocheting friend and we get together every couple of weeks to advance together in our stitching crafts and Kim is a very talented crocheter so... A couple of years ago, I learned to crochet a basket and I am proud to say that I made a cat basket for my grand kitty Mulan. Here she is in all her torty glory sitting in said basket. Said basket reposes on her Mom's work desk and there, she keeps her company most days. O says that Mulan makes her work-from-home days more bearable. She loves the basket as it is made from a wool roving from Woolen Custom Mills in Alberta.

Having gained a little confidence, I moved forward to crochet a cotton basket to hold yarn. I enjoy knitting baskets, they are pretty and functional. Now, I'd like to crochet purses.

Yes, my ambitions are quite lofty for a non crocheter but when in the presence of greatness, one cannot miss the opportunity! Thanks Kim!

Christmas Knitting and a Few Good Yarns

Strathcona Sweater by Tara-Lynn Morrison in Lion Brand Thick and Quick Navy

 

The World's Simplest Mitts by Tin Can Knits in Malabrigo Mecha in 880 Hojas

 

Hi Everyone!  I have found my knitting mojo again!  It has been months!  I thought that any motivation to knit had died but here I am! I have finished another Strathcona Sweater and couldn't be more pleased.  This is a quick and easy knit.  In fact, I am helping my neighbor knit one and she is a beginner.  The only challenge is to M1L and M1R as this is a top down sweater. The rest is pretty much knitting and some purling for the ribbing.

The mitts are the most simple.  These are also a quick knit because I make them out of a bulky yarn. I can make a pair in a weekend.  This pattern comes in a wide variety of sizes and yarn weights and is free.  Check out the Tin Can Knits website for the FREE pattern.

Also on my needles are Beatrice Mitts by Leslie Friend in Turtle Purl Yarns Trenchcoat colorway.  These are adorable and may be a gift to the knitter.  This is fingering weight yarn and one skein makes two pairs! 

Here is the original photo by Leslie Friend

@Leslie Friend

And while I've been knitting, here is what I watched on Netflix recently.

From Scratch is a Limited 8 Episode Series that features a bi-racial, cross-Atlantic love story. I dare you not to cry.

Also, if you have not watched the Danish series called Borgen made about 10 years old but still relevant,  please do.  Then go ahead and watch the 2cd season made 10 years later.  Borgen means: 'the castle' and this series is about Birgitte, a female politician. It is a good look into female leadership in a male-dominated milieu.

If you have Amazon Prime, please watch Mrs Harris Goes to Paris.  It is a remake of the 1992 version featuring the late Angela Lansbury.  I love a story where things go well.  If you're in need of a lift, this will help!

I've also enjoyed reading these two gems recently:

These two stories are of the "things get better" kind.  With all that is happening around us, I am really grateful for a story that doesn't break my heart.  I am late getting on the Eleanor Oliphant bandwagon as it was an Oprah selection in 2019 but A Town Called Solace was nominated for the Booker Prize in 2021 and is a lovely story about a precocious little girl spying on her neighbor.

Deep Breath, 2022

 

Yesterday, my niece and her two boys came for brunch and we had the loveliest time talking about raising boys, my research on Ancestry and life in general.  That's when we spotted the rather large Pileated Woodpecker on our apple tree.  It's a 'she' a friend tells me because this one is not sporting the red moustache worn by males.

It seems that we are all in a holding pattern, waiting to exhale.  This evening, we will have our New Year's Eve meal which was cancelled because our host came into contact with someone who had come into contact with someone with... I am always up for a Raclette when it's -24C!

I've gotten ambitious and begun my first colorwork sweater called Fern and Feather by Jennifer Steingass.  I am pleased with the result so far but the rest of the body is almost all done in German Short Rows which although make the sweater have a fitted look, require concentration to the very end.  The project is in a short hiatus for the time being.

I've started on Christmas 2022 knitting with the 21 Color Scarf by Woolstock Fibres.  The endless switching of colors make this scarf knitting go faster than usual.  The rhythm of the needles and the feel of the yarn make time fly and calm my nerves.  Knitting as meditation.

Piles of books punctuate the decor in our house and a Simple Abundance Gratitude Journal is always by my bedside.  Every night I write down 5 things to be grateful for. Last night: My wool duvet, thick snow on the trees, sausage lentil soup in the Instant Pot, a text from our son and morning tea made and delivered to me every morning by V...

Lately I've added the Book Outlet to my list of gratitudes.  Free shipping with orders over 45$. I often find gems and enlist friends into buying with me.  It makes for a steady flow of entertainment.  I should add Netflix and Apple TV and Crave and HBO to the list...

I'm up for any book recommendations you might have for me!

Stay warm.

Southern Alberta Triplet

Over the last month,  I’ve been learning about West Coast Salish knitting with author Sylvia Olsen who did her Master’s Degree on the subject. I read her wonderful book Unravelling Canada: 

In 2015, Sylvia Olsen and her partner, Tex, embarked on a cross-Canada journey from the Salish Sea to the Atlantic Ocean to conduct workshops, exchange experiences with other knitters and, Olsen hoped, discover a fresh appreciation for Canada.  

I’ve always wanted to do colorwork (knitting with more than one color at a time) and decided that Coast Salish knitting patterns (picture #2) were a good way to learn.

So Vlad and I took off early on Friday morning (picture 3 of our itinerary) to our first stop Custom Woolen Mills by Carlstairs AB. There, I purchased natural yarns that will allow me to make colorwork toques.  I also purchased wool socks and wool pillows for our bed.  I slept on my pillow last night and can tell you that I enjoyed it very much, firm without being hard, not hot and very comfortable.  I will be purchasing a wool duvet for winter later this year. The nice thing about a wool duvet is that the wool does not move around so you needn’t shake up the duvet to redistribute feathers!

Our next stop was for lunch at Pasu Farms (pics 4 to 7). Pasu Farms has a shop which specializes in sheep products, sheepskins, lotions, wool, etc. The view from the veranda of this working sheep farm is breathtaking.  The owner, Patrick Croquet de Rosemond was born on Mauritius and was delighted to speak French to Vlad and me and talk about his noble background.  The intriguing seed that you see in pic 4 is called a Coco de Mer is is over 150 years old. It was handed down to him by a great uncle. . The intriguing, goddess shape of this one makes it highly collectible.  According to our host, Coco de mer are the world’s largest seed.

From Pasu Farms we made our way to the outskirts of Cremona where we stopped for the night at an Air Bnb called: Krekwakwou. It is owned by Dutch people who have acres and acres of land with horses and dogs.  Pics 8 to 11 were taken there.  Vlad and I had a perfect two-person hot tub on our front porch and we made friends with the most adorable dog who stood up beside me without prompting on our deck!

Our before last stop in the area was less than 1 km away at the Fallen Timber Meadery where we had a tasting and purchased their Meadjito and Honey Buck ’session’ meads.  I highly recommend these  as light, refreshing and delicious summer drinks not too high in alcohol. Before heading home, we returned to Cremona for the most delicious pork ribs at the Cowboy Trail Smokehouse BBQ.

On our way home we stopped in Rocky Mountain House to fill up with gas and later in Alder Flats at the Grey Owl Meadery. Vlad and I have been coming to this Meadery over the last year as they make the most delicious mead in many flavours. It is 1.5 hours from our house and you can enjoy a free tasting and a charcuterie board (not free!) for lunch on their patio.  I highly recommend their Pear and Cardamom Mead. 

Vlad and I had a wonderful time and we feel truly blessed to be able to discover our province in this way. 

Dad Turned 100 Yesterday

Yesterday,  all my siblings and I met for a little birthday party for Dad who turned 100!  My father is an extraordinary man.  Here is an article I wrote for the local paper in celebration of our home town's newest centenarian.

Dad is the youngest. His mother is newly widowed.

Here are the four siblings several years later. The eldest daughter 

will soon leave for Québec and will die four years later.

Dad is about 20 years old here.

        In this picture, Mom is expecting me.  They are on their way to Mexico for a holiday. Dad is 36.

                                                        Here we are just a few months ago.

What I've been reading

 This is a short one to share some of my 2020 reads.  Hope you find some inspiration!

Favorite English language book:  The Rules of Civility by Amor Towles because of the main character's integrity and good values make her a real heroine to me.  I like historical fiction and this novel is based in New York, 1938.  It is a fantastic sociological portrait of the life of the priviledged and not-so-priviledged young people living 'the dream' in one of the world's most exciting cities. I loved A Gentleman in Moscow from the same author.  Amor Towles does not disappoint with a style of writing that captures the imagination and doesn't let it go...

Favorite French language book: La nuit de feu from Eric Emmanuel Schmitt - a true story about an awakening that happens on a cold and very dark desert night when the possibility of dying alone is very real for a young man..  The young man in questions later became a philosopher and writer.  Schmitt is one of France's most loved contemporary philosophers.

Close seconds: Clin d'oeil au temps qui passe by Antonine Maillet and Educated by Tara Westover. Clin d'oeil is well-written by one of French Canada's premier authors and intellectuals.  Maillet has led a very stimulating and admirable life which she recounts with the sagacity that only comes with age. 

Tara Westover's Educated is a biographical novel that takes place in a Mormon family whose father is bipolar. Westover's story is almost too incredible to believe and one can only admire her for breaking free from the chains of her family and religion.

Do not recommend: Le mur mitoyen and La route du Lilas and I must say I have forgotten what happens in The Turn of the Key.

Most of the books featured here are my two book clubs' selections.  While it is good to pick up a book you may not otherwise have read, some can be less pleasing.

Elinor Florence's two books: Wildwood and A Bird's Eye View are very very enjoyable reads. This author hails from Western Canada.  Wildwood is about a young American mother who is near penniless when she inherits a house in the Peace River area of Alberta and A Bird's Eye View is about a girl from the Canadian Prairies who enlists in WWII to become an aerial photographic interpreter and a hero.

A Mother's Heart

France 1999, T. and his little brother D. 

We decorated the tree today.  We are about 5 or 6 days ahead of schedule but this year, we have the time.

V. and I took our time, 1.5 hours to get the job done, probably because I sobbed for about 10 minutes.  Missing my boy in Florida more than I can say.  He's been gone 9 years this month...

Nine years ago my brave boy could not find himself here, at home.  He had to go.  He chose the road less travelled, he was only 22 years old. A foolish girl had told him he could never be what he wanted to be.  It both broke his heart and spurred him on.  So he left just after Christmas, laden with luggage, he flew first to New Jersey then to St. Martin then, he took a ferry to another island where he would study medicine for 16 months.

Only 22 years old, white as milk and a little green behind the ears, he landed on an island where he was known as 'white boy'.  You see T. can't tan, he only burns.

Fortunately, he ran into a man from Chicago and they quickly found a place to stay and moved in together.  Andre was older and wiser but he must have sensed that T. was an ok guy. At least that's what he told us months later when we were Skyping with T.: "Your son was a very good man and he is working very hard on this studies.

T. distinguished himself throughout his years and years of study on the island and later in Chicago and now, no doubt in Florida.  He had to leave the island after 16 months to pursue the practical part of his medical degree in Chicago.  Later, he would match at Mount Sinai in Chicago and graduate as an Internist.

Most people would have been happy to begin working and start chipping away at the mountain of debt but our brave boy wanted more.  That is why he is pursuing a fellowship in Florida, in the middle of the Covid pandemic.   His field: Pulmonology and Critical Care. His lovely wife told me yesterday that he is working 100+ hours/week...

So today, as I was hanging some of his ornaments on the tree, I cried for my boy, the 22-year-old who left home 9 years ago this month and for the 31-year-old working in Intensive Care with Covid patients.  

My boy is far away and he is in the middle of all that is most difficult about this pandemic.

Say a little prayer for him.